12.16.11//4:12

C'est La Vie.

Say la la la. Very good.

It has been so long. I am so overwhelmed by the millions of should-do's that I don't do a thing that I should.

I am sad about the person the people I once knew have become. But I understand. It's nice to pretend life is playing house, buying groceries, watering the tulips and turnips. I mean - you have been pretending for this your whole life.

Have you not?

I spend my evenings wishing for rain fall, thick lovely droplets to cover my weed riddled lawn. The crickets are as large as cockroaches, and loudly they sing la la la.

Very good.

I imagine days as non-linear, as never affecting me. I take my time with my plans. I know I am getting older, but, really, I think I will know when my mood is right. Measure days in feelings, a system of ok. Not ok. Ok.

La la la.

You can't be sad if you're dancing. So I dance in my car. I dance over drinks. I stand up in the middle of conversations that get too heavy and I shake my shoulders. I bob my knees. I look frantic, rusty. I don't care. A large cricket with an agenda. The agenda is uncertain. It does exist. In a non-linear sense.

I think I have explained enough of the absence and general sadness away.

Are you satisfied?

Very good.

<</>>
C'est La Vie
old|new|notes|profile|extra|ms|lj